I may have pushed myself a little too hard today. Once again I find myself getting up out of bed not because I can’t sleep but because it hurts to just lay down.
I know I’m supposed to be taking it easy, resting and not doing anything but how is that possible? I hate it when people do things for me. It’s definitely not my love language. It makes me feel lazy or as if I’m taking advantage of others and I hate, hate that feeling.
I know they (the ones helping) are doing things out of love and are just wanting me to take it easy, but it truly gives me anxiety. I know, I’m weird! Who doesn’t love someone doing the dishes for them? Mama cooking dinner for you? Having your husband wash and fold the laundry? I mean it’s nice when I don’t feel like doing it but when I can’t, not so much.
All I want to do is feel normal again. And I know that will happen and this surgery was and is the best thing I’ve probably ever done. However, this downtime is killing me!!!!!!
You don’t truly realize how much you love picking up your baby and just holding them. Loving on them or just picking them up to put them in bed, until you can’t.
I know I’m over here whining like a baby when so many others out there have it ten times harder than I do. Who might never get to hold their child again or do their own dishes. So for that reason, I am truly grateful for all I can and will be able to do again. But for now, I’m sad. And I think I’m allowed to be for a second. Or maybe not, lol. It might just be the pain meds talking.
Ok, pity party of one is now over. Tomorrow is a new day and another day of healing. To all those out there who have been praying for me and helping me a big thank you!!
P.S. My brother came into town, and I’ve been spending a lot of time with him and his wife. My nephews are so adorable, and I can’t wait to see them tomorrow 🙂
P.P.S. I have the best family and extended family a girl could ask for!! Y’all have been so amazing throughout all of this, and I will find a way to thank everyone properly!!
P.P.P.S. John, I just love your heart and the little things I will always remember 🙂 love you ba