Over the past moth I have been struggling with whether or not to go back to work. Do I want too? Yes. Do I want to stay home with my babies? Yes. What would be best for my family? I have been a stay at home mom for over 3 years now and have loved ever bit of it. But was it time for me to go back to work?
I cried and prayed many times with the thought of what I should do. Money has been tight with the husband starting this new job but I know money will come with time. We knew this with him starting but still the thought lingered in my mind. In my heart.
What would be best for my children? I know we are planing on putting Nolan in school now that he is 3. But what about Luke he is only about to be 1 and I know he still needs his mom around and the thought of leaving him with someone scared me. Missing his first step and so much more that I would be missing. I am privileged to be able to stay home with my kids and have never thought twice about it until now.
This was one of the hardest struggles I have made in a long time. What did God have in store for me and what direction did he want me to go? I had a great response to my resume and more that one interview that I went to. But declined all of them and did not even go to some. My heart did not know what to do.
But in the last week God has finally brought me to a peaceful place and I know that I am right where I am suppose to be. At home with my kids. To not worry about money that he has and always will provide for my family and I. I never doubted that he would but it is hard at times and I have to keep reminding my self to have faith. He will and always has provided.
Yes money is tight but we will survive. So for now I will be a stay at home with my babies until God opens the right door.